LPS, ELITE, STAR, CAR, BAR: Aligning your CV with mysterious acronyms (without losing your mind or your sense of humor)

Have you ever opened LinkedIn with the sole intention of updating your CV, but ended up in a vortex of motivational acronyms as enigmatic as they are threatening?

Welcome to the parallel world of professional storytelling systems, where you don't tell who you are, but how many systems you know how to use to tell it!

Here they are: LPS, ELITE, STAR, CAR, BAR.

No, this is not the schedule of a fitness channel with talk shows and cocktails included. T

hese are the methods that, according to many recruiters-coaches-trainers-mentalists, promise to transform your CV from "meh" to "CEO in 3 weeks"!

LPS – Lascia Perdere Subito

That is, Logical Problem Solving.

A system that invites you to explain how you solve complex problems.

Basically: “Tell me about a time you saved the company from a crisis with an Excel spreadsheet and the power of logic”.

Translated into CV: 47 bullet points on how you improved the conversion rate on an e-commerce site by 3.7%… in three months… during a blackout.

Applause!

ELITE – We exaggerate the experience, we deceive everyone elegantly

Here the watchword is to impress.

The acronyms become mantras, the keywords multiply like cats on Instagram!

You didn’t “manage a team”: you “orchestrated a multidisciplinary collaborative ecosystem in a high-stakes context”.

In practice… you organized the editorial meeting on Zoom without anyone disconnecting!

STAR – Don’t worry, make up your own story

The classic: Situation, Task, Action, Result.

A Netflix-worthy script for every skill.

Like: “During the office coffee crisis (Situation), I was tasked with finding a sustainable solution (Task), I created a fundraising system on Slack (Action), and now we have a pod machine that knows your name (Result).”

Academy Award for Best Short CV!

CAR – Artfully Fictionalized CV

Similar to STAR, but more concise.

Challenge: Say it all in three sentences.

For those who love thrillers with few words but a lot of impact.

If you’re a fan of Tinder bios, this is the one for you.

And if that wasn’t enough: You can also add a note like “+40% ROI”.

Often no one really knows what that means, but it’s so cool!

BAR – Enough, Give Up and Start Over

The favorite of those who, after hours and hours on Canva and a thousand versions of the file “CV_finalissimo2025_definitivo_reale_VERAMENTE.pdf”, decide that maybe it would be better to open a bar!

In reality it is Background, Action, Result (the minimalist version of CAR): but can you imagine the allure of escape? Bonus: you can always write “Entrepreneurial experience” on your CV!

Ironically useful conclusion:

Whatever your style – sober, narrative or semi-poetic delirium in Helvetica 12 – remember: recruiters are looking for coherence, clarity and results. Not a handbook of escape room acronyms!

And if all goes wrong, there’s always BAR.

But this time with a real martini!