We don’t always get What We Want — and that’s (Almost Always) a good thing

In a world that constantly pushes us to “want more,” to “never settle,” and to “achieve every goal,” it can be difficult to accept a simple truth: what we want doesn’t always come true, either in our personal or professional lives. Yet behind this apparent frustration, there is often a precious opportunity.

The Myth of Total Achievement

We live in a culture that promises us that, with enough effort and determination, we can achieve anything we want. It’s a motivating message, sure, but it’s also potentially misleading. Reality is made up of variables, contexts, relationships, and unexpected events that are beyond our control. Even the most perfect plan can encounter obstacles, and even the strongest will can find limits.

Disappointment or Direction?

When something we want doesn’t materialize, it’s easy to fall into disappointment or a sense of failure. But what happens if we try to look at these moments differently? What if what didn’t happen was making room for something better, or more suited to who we really are?

In our private lives, relationships that don’t work can free us up for more authentic connections. In our work, missed opportunities can push us towards unexpected paths that are much more aligned with our talent or values.

Learning to distinguish between desires and needs

Not everything we desire is good for us. We often pursue goals dictated by the expectations of others, by external models or by needs that are not entirely conscious. Stopping to reflect on why we desire something can reveal a lot: are we moved by fear or courage? Comparison or inspiration?

Resilience, not resignation

Accepting that not everything goes as planned doesn’t mean giving up on your dreams. It means becoming more resilient, more capable of reading the signals of the context and adapting with intelligence and flexibility. It means learning to navigate uncertainty, staying the course but without becoming rigid on a single destination.

Conclusion

Not getting what we want can hurt, but it can also be a turning point. It is up to us to decide how to interpret these moments: as a defeat or as a new beginning. Often, it is precisely when things do not go as we thought that we really begin to know ourselves and discover what matters.